His Light
by Shepard Supreme
Summary: "I've killed for vengeance. I've killed for coin. I've killed for the sake of killing. And now, I kill for her. I will make the ultimate sacrifice. I will become a Grey Warden."  Sequel to Her Shadow  Zevran/Elissa/Alistair  Featuring Warden Zevran :D
1. Chapter 1

**I'll Stand Behind You**

_I can do this._

_I can do this!_

She silently chanted to herself.

Was it not enough that Alistair was a nervous wreck? After all, she was, what they called, _The _Warden. As if she was the only one who could claim the title. Elissa hadn't considered herself so special that she should be given such a ridiculous label. Afterall, she had never been _The_ Cousland, _The _Woman, or _The _Warrior. And those were things that were more familiar to her than the small order she was forced to join.

Nervously, she wrapped billowing tresses of brown hair between her index and middle finger. A nervous habit that her mother often scolded her for. But thinking of her mother would not calm her nerves. No. Best to think of the weather, how well the tulips were growing, or something inherently trivial.

For nearly the hundredth time, she glanced in the mirror at herself. The metal in her armor did not shine like most of the legendary warriors she had seen in paintings. In fact, it wasn't even all that large. Her breastplate was a dull silver color, with a faded Grey Warden crest in the middle. A small green cape draped over her right shoulder.

She ducked slightly to look at her face. She had always been a tall, lanky sort of girl, with legs that never seemed to end. Her long, thin face was well suited for her body type. Her sallow skin was only colored by the light sprinkle of freckles across her cheeks.

_How very heroic!_, she laughed to herself. She was probably the only _hero_ in the world with freckles.

Tucked away behind her ear was a tiny, single, lilac flower. She quickly saved the little bud from her ocean of hair. Pulling it from the tangled waves that threatened drown it.

Gently she placed it on the cream vanity. Alistair certainly had a thing for flowers. She smiled at the thought of him giving her the small bloom.

Though their own relationship was starting to blossom, things were progressing very slowly. Not that she minded, but her other companions would often tease them for their childish flirting. At first, they only shared a few chaste kisses. Of late, the tender pecks were happening more frequently, and becoming more passionate.

But thinking of this was even worse than thinking of her mother. Truth be told, she was very proud of Alistair.

And it was with this attitude that Elissa Cousland, _The _Warden of Ferelden, left to begin the Landsmeet.

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As the human nobles shouted over slaves and the deceased Arl, all Zevran could bring himself to think of was Taliesen and the events that had recently unfolded.

The anger still burned from the thought of Taliesen threatening Elissa.

He took in a gulp of air, trying to swallow back the dull pain between his chest and throat.

A former friend, and truth be told a loyal friend, died at his hand. Zevran was never used to lingering on such somber topics for too long. But this? This ate at him.

He killed a man for the beautiful woman that was now standing in front of him. So that one day soon she could become a righteous protector, Archdemon slayer, and almost certainly Queen of Ferelden.

He had accepted his fate. Standing behind the girl he was infatuated with, and not beside of her. And it was difficult.

He tried to leave her right after the Crow's attacked them. He told her that it was the best time for him to leave, that he should run while he could. In truth, it would be much easier to face the entire order of Crows. Elissa handed him half of the sovereigns they had earned, and enough supplies for three people to survive. He couldn't leave her. It wouldn't be right. She hadn't left him.

And now he watched as his friend Alistair shifted his weight nervously.

How he wished he could trade feelings with Alistair. Nervousness would be a welcome substitute for the confusion that he was having such difficulty coping with.

Zevran rolled his eyes, _Stop moping. Brooding doesn't become you._ He scolded himself. Such silliness was uncharacteristic of him, and he refused to be so childish.

He was so lost in thought that he nearly jumped when he saw 'Princess' throwing a sword toward Loghain.

He nearly jumped into the fight until he realized no one else was fighting, it was a duel.

Either way, he wouldn't let the man win, though he was sure Elissa was more than capable of taking care of her own affairs.

She wasn't a particularly large girl, tall perhaps, but not large. What she did have was one hell of a reach, and damn impressive core strength. She didn't swing her blade with no direction. Every movement was purposeful, with every whip of her broadsword Zevran could see her opponent become weaker and weaker. It was, artistic.

"I underestimated you Warden. There's a strength in you I haven't seen since Maric died. I yield.", Loghain caught his breath, bending over slightly.

Elissa, short of breath, huffed, "I accept your surrender."

"I didn't just hear you say that! You're going to let him live, after all he's done? Kill him already.", Alistair snarled through gritted teeth.

* * *

**Hey guys! I just thought I would get this story started. I will not be able to update regularly until after April 13th****. (Ugh, don't ask) I'm very excited for the progression of this story, and look forward to your reactions. So far my hopes are to continue through Awakening events, and perhaps past that. We'll see. I suppose it really depends on reader responses. In the future I will be adding more of Zevran's Journal entries : )**

**Let me know how you feel about this first chapter.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I Will Be Here Still**

"_Papa!", she cried in excitement at the sight of her father._

_The wind was warm, and the leaves were turning their golden hues. She danced with her golden orange companions. Bouncing from one pile of crunchy, sun dried leaves to the next, giggling for her father's attention._

_At first, he looked away, pretending not to notice her._

"_Papa!", her voice was louder now. She lifted her dress, slightly, exposing the bare feet that began to march toward her father._

_He smiled as he saw her coming, then he quickly masked his joy with a look of false severity._

"_Elissa Cousland!", his voice boomed, "When your mother sees the hem on that gown of yours, she shall be very cross.", Bryce crossed his arms, looking down at his little girl._

_Elissa quickly looked down at her dirt caked feet and the dress that faded from red to dark brown mud. Her shoulders dropped, knowing she was in for "a good whippin'", as Nan had called it._

_Before defeat could overcome her, her father caught her under the arms, lifting her into the air. She laughed loudly in the wind as he swung her around._

"_You haven't caused too much trouble while I was away, I hope?", He laughed, holding her in front of him._

_She shook her head quickly. "Nope! And I even helped Nan pick apples for supper!"_

"_Ah! Well, I'm sure she enjoyed that.", he winked as he placed her back on the ground._

"_Will you take me to Denerim next time? Please?", she whined._

_Bryce laughed, "Sure Lis, perhaps you can be my substitute during the next Landsmeet."_

_Her hand quickly found his as they walked toward the castle. _

_If father could see me now_, she laughed to herself. All eyes were on the girl, who was now much taller than even her father was. Of all of the people staring at her, waiting for her response, she could only see one person: Anora.

The Queen of Ferelden watched the lanky girl intently, with no sign of looking away. She could change the woman's life in an instant, just as her life had been changed.

Elissa had every reason to hate Loghain. He had been the instrument of her father's death. But as Riordan spoke to them, she couldn't bring herself to be instrument of his.

She was paying for that decision dearly now, as venomous words poured from Alistair's lips. He glared at her without pity.

"I thought -", Elissa sobbed, allowing her feelings to peek for a split second.

"I thought you had planned on marrying Anora?", she continued her sentence, though it pained her to say it.

His brow softened from it's furrowed position. They watched each other in silence for a moment, until Alistair turned to the woman who would be his wife.

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Leliana walked with a quick pace down one of the castle's many corridors. She was sure she would eventually find the room Elissa had been escorted to, but didn't know where to look first. The Ferelden structures were much more square and less varied than delicate Orlesian structures. She was thankful that the building did not share the same complexity of an Orlesian palace, but found that she missed the grandeur of the finer castles.

Without warning, she felt a body begin to walk beside of her. She gasped, quickly turning to meet her company.

"Oy! _You._", she sneered, tucking her red hair behind one ear.

"Is something wrong, my sweet? Are you _unsettled_ by my walking?", Zevran amused himself.

"Don't call me that!", she fumed.

"Fine _Leliana_. I assume you are also going to see our dear friend?"

"Ha! I don't think she needs the sort of _comforting_ you can provide."

"Perhaps not.", he answered shortly, "However, I still know where her room is. Do you wish an escort?"

Leliana rolled her eyes, walking away from the heathen assassin.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

She ran.

After no one was looking, past the double doors she kept running. If she got there quickly enough, she would save the embarrassment of calling someone to clean up after her.

She ran past cooks and servants who gawked at the ungrateful human who violently pushed herself through them. But they didn't know what was happening inside of her, and would have gladly moved otherwise.

She saw her door, her destination. Surely there would be one inside. It _was_ a private room after all.

But she didn't make it to the door.

Elissa's stomach churned, and she felt the hot liquid rising up through her throat and out of her mouth. She lifted her hand to keep it from falling to the cobble stone floor with little success.

"_Oh dear_!"

Elissa didn't have to open her eyes to know that it was Leliana behind her.

She coughed through her stinging throat, "I'm fine. I'm fine, I just need some cloth sheet and -"

"Don't worry about that! We'll get you cleaned up first.", Leliana chirped in her friendliest voice.

Elissa took the hand that was offered to her, surprised to feel rough calluses. Zevran pulled her to her feet.

"_Dear Maker_! Please don't look at me!", she wearied, but still laughed at the mess she was in.

Abandoning his usual jokes and mockery Zevran asked, "This has upset you? It has upset you a great deal."

"I have never spoken that many people before. They were all watching.", she laughed.

"And Alistair?", he said bluntly.

"I'm fine.", she smiled again, though her red eyes screamed otherwise.

"Perhaps if you talked to him?"

"I'm afraid to.", she admitted, eyes threatening to tear up again.

"You should speak with him. You must resolve this before the battle begins.", he stated practically.

"Ah, here you go! Here's a pretty red dress. Red seems to suit you, no?", Leliana lilted.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Elissa cleared her throat upon entering the room, making her presence known to it's only inhabitant.

Without turning around, Alistair answered her call, "I don't suppose there's much to say, is there?"

She nervously moved across the floor, her long legs felt wobbly beneath her.

"Actually, I was hoping -"

"Hoping what?", he wearily asked. He turned to see a long red gown on the tall woman that once never failed to lift his spirits. His heart skipped at the sight of her, and he hated himself for it.

"I suppose you won't be joining us then?", she meekly asked.

At first he was filled with rage. _Join that _man_ who disgraced the name of his order? _Then he thought of the glory that would befall upon Loghain should he actually kill the Archdemon, and it made him sick. He thought of Elissa.

"Of course I'll join you. What choice do I have?", the young King pressed his fingers against his forehead, rubbing gently.

Elissa stood stiffly, finally managing to speak, "Thank y-"

"Don't. We should get some rest.", he said decidedly, then turned to retire to his room.

He was drained and his chest throbbed with pain, but the feelings of a King means very little.

* * *

**Just so you know, I really love you guys. It's 1am and I have to get up in about four hours. Hope you enjoyed. We're killing some darkspawn in the next one :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**Entry 21**

_We are at the eve of battle, and most of my companions are too consumed with the recent events to remain focused._

_Leliana can't tear herself away from Elissa's side._

_Of course, Alistair hasn't stopped moping over Princess since the Landsmeet._

_Why must humans complicate things? He is a King. She is a noble. They could marry and make royal babies with no one to stop them. Why must he feel bound to his word? He is to be the King, no? _

_For a moment, I was selfishly excited for the turn of events._

_It wasn't until I saw the pain Princess endured, that I felt guilt for that brief rush of pleasure._

* * *

**Beginning in Anger, Ending in Shame**

The restless night did nothing for Elissa's already stinging eyes which threatened to snap shut as she walked into the brightness of the morning sun. Her head throbbed, a sure sign of the beginning of a _perfect_ day. She trudged through the mud, childishly kicking rocks as she came closer to the stables. The sun looked heavenly, peeking past the hutches, which sheltered Denerim's finest steeds. The sun and breeze calmed her nerves and she sunk into a delightful feeling of peace. It was a good replacement for the mood she had been in the night before.

Elissa caught sight of movement in the darkness of the stall, causing her to stop dead in her tracks. She hoped it was a mare, anxiously shuffling. She was not so lucky. Loghain wandered the stalls beating a saddle blanket, freeing the dust collected in it's thread. She watched the man that she had saved from execution. He had done terrible things in order to protect his countrymen. In everyone else's eyes, he hadn't deserved such mercy. Elissa couldn't help but feel sorry for him, even after everything she had endured at his hand.

The thumping of heavy feet broke her concentration, and she turned around to find the source of the noise. Her eyes met Alistair's, who quickly looked away. Her stomach turned, and she felt the same warmth creep upon her as she had the previous afternoon. She watched him as he walked toward the stables. Alistair continued to focus on his feet, even as he unknowingly closer and closer to Loghain.

"This should be good." She mumbled to herself.

She jumped when she heard a voice reply, "Indeed Princess! Enjoying the morning savagery, yes?"

Had anyone else called her "Princess", especially considering recent events, Elissa would have probably caused them some sort of physical harm. With Zevran, she had come to expect it.

"Nothing yet." She forced a laugh.

"My bet is on Loghain. Alistair may be young and very, _very_ angry. But one sovereign says he cowers at the sight of Loghain's '_stare of death_'."

"You shouldn't say such things," She scolded "But I certainly wouldn't bet on Loghain. He could barely pick up that shield of his yesterday."

"So, one sovereign?"

"You're on." She wagered.

They watched the two men discover each other. Elissa could hear no spoken words, but saw a livid glare on Alistair's usually cheerful face. Loghain glanced away, turning to attend to his horse.

Elissa stretched out her arm, wiggling her fingers for Zevran's attention. He groaned, dropping the golden coin into her hand.

Elissa sighed, "What am I going to do with them?"

"I don't know." He answered truthfully.

"Thanks a lot." She rolled her eyes, and felt his hand pat her shoulder.

"Ah Princess, _cuidate mucho_."

"You too Zev."

_Yes, it was going to be a _wonderful_ day_.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"You didn't kill him, and I respect your decision. But I swear if he continues to speak to me so foully, I cannot promise that you won't find him with an arrow at his throat." Leliana huffed.

"Let's not speak of it." Wynne whispered firmly. Elissa, Wynne, and Leliana had fallen away from the rest of the group, separating themselves from the source of tension.

They had only been traveling together for an hour, and already Loghain and Alistair's attitude was beginning to dampen the spirits of Elissa's team. She had been raised to stay quiet, and to disengage herself should conflict ever arise. It was difficult for her to imagine how she could keep the two men from killing each other.

"So _everyone_ disagrees with my decision?" Elissa sighed.

"I never said _that_." Lelliana pouted, "It's just, maybe you are a bit _too _trusting."

"And it's your best quality, my dear Warden." Zevran winked.

"Of course _you _would think so. Keep to your own conversations." Leliana hissed.

"Enough! I don't need you two fighting as well." Elissa pleaded.

"I'm not killing the man, am I?" Alistair's voice boomed, and everyone else stopped and stood in silence. Elissa hadn't imagined that Alistair could hear her talking from so far away, and yet he stood, glowering at her in the distance.

"I didn't mean…" Elissa started.

"You have something to say, do you?" Loghain bellowed, interrupting her.

Alistair turned his attention to the large man who was now only a few feet away.

"Stay away from me." He childishly fumed.

Loghain scowled, "And here I thought the Grey Wardens only recruited men, not whining children."

Alistair jumped in front of Loghain, fists clenched.

"No, apparently we give sodding murderers the honor of joining us!"

"_Really_? I seem to recall hearing that Duncan was nothing but a murdering thief when he was recruited. Isn't that what the Right of Conscription is for?"

"How dare you even speak his name, you traitorous bastard!" Alistair whipped out his sword, closing the small gap between them.

"You don't have the nerve, boy! No wonder the burden of leading was left to a new recruit. _You_ would have guided them straight to their deaths!"

Alistair lifted his sword to the Teyrn's throat and seethed, "A mistake that can be _easily_ rectified."

The normally mild mannered noblewoman felt her heart quicken with anger as the two continued to spit insults at each other. From the pit of her stomach she felt the words gush from her mouth like poison.

"That's enough! You!" She pointed at the aging Teyrn, "I believe you have caused enough trouble here to last three more Blights. You have been given a second chance, don't take it for granted by talking to my companions in such a way, Orlesian or no."

Alistair crossed his arms nodding in agreement. .

"And _you_!" She turned to face Alistair, "You may be a King, but while you fight with me you are under _my _command. You are still a Warden, and my brother in arms. Start acting like you give a damn about what happens tomorrow. Or have you forgotten what we are _really _fighting for?"

"And just so you know,", she continued, "Grey Wardens _don't _'only recruit men'. They recruit women too."

And with that, she turned on her heel, and silently led her companions to Redcliffe.

* * *

_Cuidate mucho =_ Take very good care of yourself.

"_Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame." - Benjamin Franklin Quote_

_I want to thank two wonderful, awesome, and absolutely brilliant ladies who are now my Betas. __**Kira Tamarion**__ and __**Brelaina**__ have been amazing and helped me with so much of this chapter, and for that I thank them ;)_

_Okay, okay. Now I _said_ we would be fighting darkspawn in this chapter, and I'm sorry for lying. There will be darkspawn fights next time. But hey, you got to hear Loghain and Alistair bitch at each other right? Lol_

_I now have musical inspirations for this story if you wish to peruse my profile page :D_

_I hope you all had a very lovely holiday. Or, if you didn't celebrate Easter, just a great weekend._

_Thanks for reading!_


	4. Chapter 4

**Decisions**

The stench of burning flesh filled the air. Elissa saw the smoldering buildings and her heart ached. She hoped that they had arrived to the village with enough time to avoid casualties. The condition of the city screamed otherwise.

A handsome man bolted toward Elissa and her companions. The fact that he was dressed in a mere cloth tunic and trousers suggested that he was a simple farmer.

"Andraste's mercy that you got here when you did! I thought for sure these monsters were going to get me!" The man quaked.

Alistair pushed himself in front of the group. "What happened? Where is everyone?" He asked in a way that marked him a proud, noble hero.

Elissa would have scolded him for such _bravado _had she not been worried for the village's inhabitants.

Before the man could explain the situation Elissa ordered, "get to safety! Come on, let's move!"

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Zevran couldn't hide his satisfied smile. Of course, it was unfortunate that the monsters had terrorized the small town, yet he couldn't help but take pleasure in the rush of battle. There was something magnificent about conquering his enemy.

Zev whipped back and forth between the gruesome monsters. He extended his arm and felt his blade sink into the darkspawn's chest. Blood gushed from its body and he stumbled away from the vile mess. Elissa had warned him to avoid the dangerous darkspawn blood. But Zevran wasn't afraid of what the blood might do to him; he was much more sickened by the idea of the blood getting on him.

"Watch out!" Elissa cried.

Zevran quickly ducked, dodging the blade of a hurlock. Elissa swung her blade behind him, chopping into the creature's throat. Another monster appeared behind Elissa, Zevran immediately slashed into the genlcoks throat. The pair fought, weaving around each other until finally they were back to back.

One by one, darkspawn attacked them. Eventually, they all fell at Elissa and Zevran's hand.

When the bulk of the darkspawn were gone, Zev and Elissa turned to each other and grinned at their victory.

Elissa quickly scanned the field to check their progress. She could see a massive amount of darkspawn surrounding an unseen ally.

"Oghren!" Elissa directed Zevran to go help him with the monsters who had managed to encircle him.

She searched for another warrior to help Zevran and commanded, "Alistair! Oghren and Zev need you!"

"On it!" He obeyed and quickly ran to aid Zevran.

Elissa paused as she felt the ground shake. A large ogre smashed through the front gates of the castle grounds. It charged through a small group of darkspawn, and eventually fixed it's gaze on Sten.

"Wynne, Morrigan! Slow down the ogre!" Elissa shouted.

Morrigan, who had been preoccupied with her own fighting, shot Elissa an annoyed glare. Elissa knew Morrigan had never particularly liked her, but she usually always complied when given an order in battle.

"Do as I say!" She roared. Morrigan's jaw dropped slightly before she muttered something and ran toward the ogre.

Elissa's breath was forced from her lungs as she was blindsided. Her left shoulder ached in a stinging pain. She stood up to find her assailant, a second massive ogre. Her left arm fell limply to her side as she gripped her greatsword in her right hand. Elissa glowered at the ogre and readied herself to attack.

The ogre ran towards her a second time. Elissa swiftly jumped on its mammoth back, finding a way to swing her left arm around its neck. She screamed in agony as the ogre jerked back, painfully twisting her wilted arm.

Wynne, seeing that Elissa was injured, began to cast healing spells. Loghain taunted the beast and swung his sword at the ogre's heels. It was distracted long enough for Elissa to raise her large blade above the creature's throat. With all of her strength she pressed the steel into its flesh. Blood poured out of the ogre's throat and mouth. It violently thrashed about, throwing Elissa to the ground. She raised herself up as the giant fell to the ground.

The guards who had helped them defeat the creatures made their way toward the Warden leader. "Thank the Maker you came, Warden," one of the men addressed her.

"Ser, quickly, we need to speak with Eamon," she ordered.

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Alistair rested his elbows on the stone window sill, looking over the deserted village he had called home so long ago. As a child, he had spent many nights aching for adventure. He had longed to travel to faraway places, fight bandits, and perhaps save a lovely maiden. He found it ironic that he found the adventure that he craved so close to home and that now he wished he could return to the simplicity of his childhood.

"Alistair."

He turned and found Elissa with her hands folded in front of her. He rolled his eyes before directing them back to the window. Finally, he mumbled, "what do you need?"

"Alistair, Riordan needs to speak with us concerning Warden affairs. _All_ of us," Elissa commanded. She had been much more assertive in the past few days, and Alistair didn't know how to feel about such changes.

"_As you command_." His voice was wet with sarcasm.

Elissa shoved his shoulder to the side, forcing him to look her in the eyes. The tall woman stood face to face with him as she heaved Alistair against the wall.

"You're damn right '_as I command'_," she growled. "If you knew you were going to be so miserable, why did you even bother coming here? You could have stayed in that damn palace."

"I had considered it, at first," Alistair admitted.

"Then why? Why come?" She had abandoned the aggressive act that had shielded her thus far and all but cried the words.

Alistair looked away, as if recalling a distant memory. "It's not as if I stopped _caring_. I mean, I had hoped…"

Elissa's heart fluttered at the sound of his words. He hadn't spoken fondly of her in a long time and his confession of affection infected her with a wave of pain and pleasure.

"I suppose it doesn't matter anymore," he continued. "Come on, let's get this over with."

Her heart sunk and felt the dull pain that she had become so familiar with. She didn't dare allow her face to display those emotions as she silently led Alistair to the stairs.

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The aging Grey Warden struggled to find the right words to say. He looked on the pretty, young girl with pity. _She had sacrificed much by even going through with the joining._

"Good, you are all here. Please know - I assumed you had already been told. Otherwise, I would have told when you freed me in Denerim. I'm sorry."

Eagerly, Alistair demanded, "what is it? What are you apologizing for?"

"Tell me, have you ever wondered _why_ the Grey Wardens are needed to defeat the darkspawn?" Riordan asked.

Elissa cautiously replied, "I have wondered that, yes."

Riordan mulled over Elissa's reaction in his mind, _So it's true. Duncan told them nothing of the Archdemon. I wonder just how I'm supposed to tell them. Certainly I've explained these things to new recruits before. But never to warriors on the eve of a great battle against an Archdemon._

"The Archdemon may be slain as any other darkspawn, but should any other than a Grey Warden do the slaying, it will not be enough. The essence of the beast will pass through the taint to the nearest darkspawn and will be reborn anew in that body. The dragon is thus all but immortal."

He sighed, allowing time for the information to sink through before continuing with his more somber news.

"But if the Archdemon is slain by a Grey Warden…its essence travels into the Grey Warden instead."

He could see the knowing look in Elissa's eyes.

"And…what happens to the Grey Warden?" Elissa asked.

"The essence of the Archdemon is destroyed…and so is the Grey Warden."

Riordan bowed his head, allowing the recruits to react privately.

"Meaning, the Grey Warden who kills the Archdemon dies?" Alistair dramatically gasped.

"Yes. Without the Archdemon, the blight ends. It is the only way."

Elissa finally lifted her head and bravely replied, "then I will take that final blow myself."

Loghain quickly interjected, "I can't say that I like the idea of someone younger than my own daughter dying when I could make the sacrifice. If we survive this, you would be a great asset to Ferelden's court. If someone is to make the sacrifice, let it be me. Anora needs _you_ more than an aging General, _or a whining husband._"

Alistair countered, "allow _you_ to die a hero? When you _murdered_ an entire army of Grey Wardens because of senselessness? You have _mocked_ those who _deserve_ the honor of dying gloriously, by allowing them to be slaughtered, by allowing _your_ King to be butchered! You do not deserve such an honor!"

"_You_ sound more and more like Cailan every day. Tell me then, would you see the Warden make such a sacrifice? Or do you actually plan to slay the Archdemon yourself?" Loghain questioned.

Elissa interrupted, "Alistair, you will be King. You can't take that final blow, not while there is another Grey Warden alive to do so. This isn't about glory or redemption, it's about saving this country!"

Riordan heard the slightest shuffle coming from the corner of the room. He examined the faces of his fellow Wardens for a sign that they had also heard the noise. None of them indicated that they had.

He finally replied, "it warms my heart to see such determination. Though, if possible, the final blow should be mine to make. I am the eldest, and the taint will not spare me much longer. But enough. There will be much to do tomorrow and little enough time to rest before. I will let you return to your rooms."

Alistair and Loghain headed for the door at the same time, then backed away glaring at each other. Loghain finally submitted and walked through the doorway first, Alistair followed behind him.

Elissa gingerly walked toward the hallway and called, "Riordan."

Riordan regarded the woman by slightly tilting his head.

She stared at him for a moment before a grin graced her face and she finally said, "may the Maker watch over you."

"And you, sister."

She nodded her head, then gracefully exited his room.

"You may come out now. They have retired to their rooms," Riordan addressed what seemed to be an empty room.

From the shadows, Zevran stepped into the dimness.

"Is there something that you need S…" Before Riordan could finish his question, Zevran quickly interrupted.

"Is it true? Will one of you die tomorrow?"

"One way or the other? I suppose that is true."

Riordan watched as the man paced back and forth. Zevran bit on his index finger and placed the other hand on his hip.

Riordan spoke up, "if you are worried for Lady Cousland, I assure you, I will do everything in my power to make the final blow mine."

"And yet it isn't a promise you can fulfill with certainty, no?"

"Nothing is certain."

"Then you will make me a Warden."

Riordan coughed in surprise at Zevran's response. He caught his breath before replying, "one does not just force themselves into the Grey Wardens. You must be recruited."

"Then recruit me. I do not lack skill. I am among the greatest of trained assassins. You have need of more Wardens, yes?"

"Of course. Though what you request is noble, I can't help but question your intentions?"

Zevran scoffed, "I _intend_ to kill darkspawn. And, if needs be, I intend to kill an Archdemon."

"And what is your motivation for killing? Being a Grey Warden is more than mindless slaughter."

Zevran felt the heat of anger rise in his stomach; he paced the room more quickly, barely paying attention to the senior Warden. Finally, he answered, "I've killed for vengeance. I've killed for coin. I've killed for the sake of _killing_. And now, I kill for her."

Zevran froze. His heart was pounding and fists were sweating as he stared at the one person who controlled how effectively he could protect his Princess.

"And would you die for her?" Riordan bluntly asked.

Zevran nodded and weakly added, "why not? I already _live_ for her."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Elissa's mind was flooded with information and her stomach felt twisted into a knot. She watched as her fellow Wardens went to their rooms. Riordan had insisted that he would take the final blow when the time came. Elissa wondered just who the task would fall to should he fail to reach the Archdemon. Loghain was a mighty General, a hero, and counselor to the throne. Alistair would soon be the King of Ferelden. In the end, she knew that burden would be left to her. It was her obligation. It was her destiny.

When she found the warmth of her room, she was surprised to see small figure of a woman by her fireplace.

"Do not be alarmed. It is only I." Morrigan turned around to face Elissa.

Elissa felt frustration fill her body, but refrained from raising her voice and eventually sighed, "Morrigan, I can't really talk at the moment. You should get some rest as well. We have a long day tomorrow."

"No. I came here to speak to you. I have a plan, you see." Morrigan leaned closer toward Elissa as if she might embrace her.

Elissa backed away, looking down at the tiny woman and indignantly added, "you _hate _me. And honestly, I'm not too fond of you either. So whatever plan you wish to unfold, believe me when I say you are likely to find a more willing audience from _Alistair_ than me. I will not entertain your whims tonight, witch."

"_You_ are an ungrateful _fool_. So be it, _Warden_," Morrigan seethed and stomped out of Elissa's room.

Elissa sighed as she saw the woman disappear into the darkness of the hallway. She felt guilty for taking her frustrations out on the woman, no matter how insufferable she could be.

She paced for a moment before sitting on her bed. She considered chasing after Morrigan to apologize, but thought it might be better to just ignore the spat. It was likely that Morrigan wouldn't listen to her anyway.

Elissa unbuckled the sides of her armor and placed the large chest plate beside of her bed. She carefully stripped the rest of her armor down to her tunic. She quickly searched through the contents of her dresser and finally found a suitable pair of trousers.

As she slipped on the cotton pants, she heard a loud thump. Her mind raced at the possibilities: Perhaps more darkspawn had approached the castle, Alistair and Loghain could be in a scrap, or even worse Alistair and _Morrigan_ could be trying to kill each other.

She decided it was best to investigate the noise herself and swiftly walked into the hallway. She heard mumbling from Riordan's room.

"Riordan?" She called, before finding herself at his door.

In the middle of the room, Zevran was lifelessly lying on the stone floor. Elissa gasped at the sight of her friend's unusually pale skin and unanimated face.

She fell to the floor and cried out, "what happened?"

Zevran blinked, slowly opening his eyes and Elissa reached under his arm, helping him up.

Elissa hissed, "you can't just go recruiting people before battle. You should have told me about this."

"I am sorry, Elissa. It was Zevran who wished to become a Grey Warden," Riordan apologized.

"Are you crazy? Why would you do this?" She cried.

Zevran replied drunkenly, "do you not know, Princess?"

Elissa rolled her eyes and sighed, "I have _no_ idea. But what's done is done I suppose. Now, to bed with you!"

"You will be joining me, no?" He raised a brow.

"_You_ are a scoundrel!" She joked.

"A scoundrel and a princess. We will be the most amazing Grey Warden team ever!"

"Go on now. Go!" She ordered.

"Your _wish_ is my command!" He laughed then bowed deeply.

_Great_, she thought_. Yet another Grey Warden to watch over._


	5. Chapter 5

**In Death Sacrifice**

Elissa's chest hurt from breathing heavily. She doubled over, exhausted. But the wardens, all four of them now, had made it. They were only minutes away from the tower roof.

She looked at the wooden door memorizing it's every detail. It would be the last door she would ever see, a passage to death. The more she stared at it, the less daunting it became. In fact, she was at peace knowing she would soon be with her family.

Alistair's fingers slipped under the brass door handle, and opened the thin veil that separated them from chaos.

_Breathe, just breathe._

The fire illuminated the roof as it gushed from the Archdemon's throat. Avoiding the scattered flames, Elissa parted a sea of darkspawn to reach higher ground.

_Inhale._

Loghain and Elissa fought their way closer to the snake. The only thing that could be heard was the clashing of metal, and the booming growls of the Archdemon.

_Exhale._

She was ten feet away now, eyes focused on the dragon's enormous neck and planning which attack would be most effective.

_Just breathe_.

Elissa sprinted toward the Archdemon as it faced her, nostrils flaring.

_Gasp!_

Her body was thrown to the ground. Eyes blurring, she looked up to see Zevran running toward the beast that she was meant to kill.

"What are you _doing_?" Elissa shouted.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Zevran ran. His blade sliced into the demon's throat. And then there was darkness.

Darkness. Pain. Zevran's wrenched as he felt heat scorching his body. Yet he shivered from a chill felt deep in his bones.

Finally he felt cold skin against his face.

"No!" he heard her voice as clear as glass.

The sound was a blessing and a curse. At least he could hear her one last time. He wished for a swift death though. The longer he lingered, the longer he wished he could stay.

So he laid there imagining what life would have been like until he couldn't feel or think anymore.

_Flashes of light startled him. Then images of his past danced in his mind. A whirlwind of people surrounded him._

_Alistair._

_Leliana._

_Elissa._

_Taliesin._

_Rinna._

_Time stopped. Sound stopped._

_Rinna swept blonde bangs out of her eyes._

_"Is this a dream? Or am I dead?" he asked._

_She said nothing but moved closer to him and cupped his face with her hands._

_"I wish you could stay with me." she said staring into his eyes._

_Then she closed the gap kissing him softly._

Air filled his lungs swiftly and he jerked when he felt the pain it caused.

"Hey! It's okay, it's okay. Can you hear me Zevran?"

He could hear her. The voice he thought he'd never hear again.

* * *

_It's been so long, and I feel like my writing style has changed a bit. But I hope you enjoyed._

_Thanks for reading. Chapter 6 to come some day :)_


	6. Chapter 6

**Awakening**

Crack!

Elissa woke up as soon as she heard the sound. She looked around the room until she found it's origin, the fireplace. She glanced over Zevran's body and paused until she saw him inhale.

Rubbing her eyes, she walked toward Zevran's bed and pulled a blanket over him. For nearly the hundredth time she placed a hand on his forehead to gauge his body temperature. Yesterday they had carried his body from the tower to the castle. Why he was still breathing continued to be a mystery.

"Excuse me m'lady." the young servant who stepped into the room bowed courteously.

"How does the '_The Hero of Ferelden' _fare?" she continued.

"The Hero of Ferelden?" Elissa asked.

"It's just what some of us have taken to callin' him. He's quite handsome isn't he? And an elf too." the elven girl gushed sitting Elissa's dinner on the corner table.

"Thank you. Could yo-"

Elissa heard the rustling of the sheets behind her. She craned her neck to find Zevran wriggling in bed and ran to him.

"Hey! It's okay, it's okay. Can you hear me Zevran?"

He nodded his head though didn't speak. Then his eyes slowly opened.

"Oh Maker! I thought you'd be dead."

Elissa hugged him tightly but pulled away once she noticed him wince. She then ordered the servant to find Wynn.

Zevran caught her by the hand before she could leave.

"Wait" he mouthed though no sound came out.

"Okay. Do you need anything?"

He shook his head and squeezed her hand. Elissa knelt beside of him finding herself at a loss for words. They stared at each other in silence. Though Elissa was burning with questions. _Why is he alive? Why did he choose to kill the thing in the first place?_

"Out of the way. Let me look at him." Wynn commanded.

"Will he be alright?"

"He will. He needs water though, and constant attention. I'll need an assistant."

"I can help you." Elissa volunteered.

"No, in fact you cannot." an elderly woman announced as she entered the room, "My name is Mistress Woolsey. I must speak with you, and all other Ferelden wardens, at once."

"Elissa can see you, but you won't be speaking with _this_ Grey Warden until he's been properly treated." Wynn snapped.

"It's fine," Elissa reassured her "I'll go find the others."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Alistair paced the study back and forth. He looked at books, re-arranged trinkets on the mantle of the fireplace, and focused on everything but his two _so-called_ companions.

His future _father-in-law _was sitting quietly waiting for their meeting to begin. He couldn't bear to hear the words _father-in-law_, even in his mind.

His former significant other drummed her fingers on a wooden desk with papers strewn about it. Dark circles shadowed her eyes. Her usually blushing cheeks were pale and dull. She was tired, he knew she had to have been. Elissa had attended to Zevran since he defeated the Archdemon.

_Why would he do it?_ Alistair wondered.

But at least he was alive. _At least it wasn't all for nothing._

Mistress Woolsey, a prune of a woman, cleared her throat while entering the room.

"First of all, allow me to commend you for your courage and hard work. You have truly saved this country." Woolsey said.

No one spoke, but all eyes drifted to Elissa. As much as he hated to admit it, there was no way they would have won the war without her. She humbly nodded.

"I have been sent by the First Warden of Weisshaupt." Mistress Woolsey continued.

"It's funny, Mistress Woolsey, that the First Warden did not think your presence was necessary while the blight was upon us." Alistair retorted.

Heated, Woolsey defended her position "I mostly deal in financial affairs of the wardens. He would not have sent me for a war. Even if he would, your General would not allow our men to enter the Ferelden boarders. How is it that you expect them to engage the darkspawn without permission of passage."

A look of shame and regret was written on Loghain's face.

_Good! You need to feel guilt. _Alistair thought.

"At any rate, that is not why I am here." she continued "Word has come to us of this 'Hero of Ferelden'."

"He is a brave man." Elissa replied.

"Brave, no doubt. His bravery was never put into question. What we don't understand, Ser, is how this _brave_ man could be alive."

Alistair shivered then said, "What does it matter? He's alive and the Archdemon is dead!"

"Anything you know, I **urge** you to tell me." Woolsey said.

Elissa chimed in "I'm sorry Mistress Woolsey. We are as curious about the matter as you are. Hopefully with 'The Hero's' recovery we will get the answers you seek."

"We can only hope. We will have time to investigate the matter later. I'll be assisting you with the continuation of the Grey Warden order in Ferelden. Elissa, be sure to see me before the week has ended. We must make recruitment plans as well as find a place to station our men."

"Of course."

As Mistress Woolsey and Loghain left the room, Alistair caught hold of Elissa before she could leave. The gesture earned him a sour look that he ignored.

"Do you trust this woman Elissa?" Alistair asked.

"I have no reason _not _to trust her. Why?"

"I just think it's crazy to look into the matter further. Zevran was just lucky."

Elissa replied "I'm afraid for him. What if his death is just a slow one?"

Alistair, seeing that she was near tears, comforted her.

"No. Don't worry. He won't die."

"You sound so confident about that. I wish I had your faith."

Alistair's heart began beating faster and faster. He wondered what he should tell her, if anything at all. It was hard to think around Elissa Cousland.

He hated her.

He loved her.

She began to walk away, but he reached for her again.

"I couldn't let you die. No matter what happens, just know that I couldn't see you die." he confessed.

She stared blankly. She didn't understand. _She never will._

"You're acting strangely Alistair. This isn't you."

He turned away to leave and said, "I don't know who I am anymore."


End file.
